The Enticing Lies of Self-Hate

“Maybe your parents had it right, Jessi,” a different voice whispered from the deepest cavern of my mind; a voice I thought I’d long since silenced.  “Maybe you truly have nothing to offer the world after all.  Perhaps the world and all your friends would be better off without you.  At least then they wouldn’t have to worry about you anymore.  Do the world and those you love a favor and simply disappear.”

Jessi, the main character in my Guardians of Bliss series, has plenty of issues as most main characters do.  She struggles with anxiety, most likely the result of growing up in the shadow of her deceased older brother, whom her parents favored.  Feeling as though she was never truly good enough to be loved left Jessi with her fair share of emotional scars.

The scene above is an excerpt from Book 2 in which Jessi finds herself wrestling some inner demons she did not even know existed.  The “voices” of those demons whisper enticing lies in Jessi’s ear.  After all, isn’t easier to just quit and give up than to have to keep fighting the same battle day in and day out?

Fighting against our inner demons, or those little voices in our minds, can be one of the most difficult battles we ever face in our lifetimes.  Allowing those lies to fester in our minds will lead us down dark paths from which we may never return.  It’s so important for us to fight against those thoughts.  

If you find yourself feeling as though you are losing this battle against your own mind, it’s so important to reach out for help.  You are never alone.  More people than you can imagine are fighting this same battle every day.  Some of us just hide it better than others.  Reach out for help.  Don’t be ashamed to admit you are struggling.  Learning to fight back against those lies will be the very best thing you ever do for yourself.  I know it has empowered me in ways I never could have imagined.  It can do the same for you!

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