Voices of a Battered Soul #2: A Toenail, Nothing More
Through her anguished tears she whispered, “I started to believe I was worth something. I thought maybe, just maybe, I finally belonged somewhere.”
“Why would you be foolish enough to allow yourself to dabble in that kind of thinking,” they chuckled. “Haven’t we told you all along? You’ll never be worthy enough to belong anywhere.”
The words stung despite the fact she believed them to be true.
“I guess their words and promises gave me a reason to hope,” she shrugged. “Like maybe there was a chance this time the outcome would actually be different.”
She’d traveled down this dead end path before. Would she never learn? Much like a defiant toddler ignorant to danger, she plunged forward into the busy street without looking both ways.
“I gave everything I had this time,” she explained. “My time…my heart…my soul… I thought I’d made everlasting friends.”
“Friends?” they scoffed, incredulous. “Who needs you? What do you possibly have to offer?”
“But I felt a connection,” she argued. “I was a part. I belonged.”
“And yet here you are…”
They didn’t have the decency to disguise the utter joy her misery brought them.
“Here I am,” she reluctantly agreed. “I thought it was like a body, you know?” Raised eyebrows assured her they didn’t follow her thought trail and so she continued, “With a human body, every part is important because it contributes. The body needs every part to function. Each part is different, has a different role, and the body won’t work without all of its parts. I thought that’s what I had been lucky enough to find. A place where even someone like me belonged and had a role to play.”
“A toenail is part of the body,” they said quietly. “Is it not?”
Hesitantly, she nodded her head.
“Does anyone truly miss a toenail once it has been clipped? Doesn’t one usually feel better once the unnecessary length has been trimmed away?”
“I suppose,” she reluctantly replied.
And then their cruel meaning became clear.
“You are a toenail,” they assured her. “You’ll never be a heart, keeping the body strong. You’ll never be the brain, keeping the body alive and wise. You won’t even be a big toe, keeping things balanced. You are simply an unwanted toenail, forgotten when no longer attached. It’s time to embrace the truth of who you are and stop chasing silly notions that it will ever be anything more.”