Voices of a Battered Soul #11: Prisoner of Feelings

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Broken, stupid feelings

Why can’t you let me be?

You whisper your hateful

Thoughts inside my mind.

You sink your wicked claws

Into my heart and squeeze!

Pain, fear, grief, and loneliness

Threaten to pull me under

To drown me in their depths.

I want to be numb and free

Yet you force yourself upon me, 

Raping my soul,

Leaving me naked and vulnerable

For all the world to mock

When they see.

Can you not just let me be?

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https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/185083760/write/735959783

Battered Souls have endured a lifetime of abuse: emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, or even all of the above. This leaves behind scars, some of which never truly heal. Although a Battered Soul may find the strength and courage to move forward in life and discover happiness, many times the voices of their scars whisper to them late at night. This is a detailed account of the whispering voices of one such Battered Soul. If you are a Battered Soul, I hope you may find strength in knowing you are not alone in your suffering.

8 thoughts on “Voices of a Battered Soul #11: Prisoner of Feelings

  1. The Eclectic Contrarian June 17, 2019 — 4:41 pm

    I have more than likely been overbearing at some point in my life, but how a man can force himself on a woman is beyond me.

    I get it that sex is a huge part of our culture now. But we can’t just go out and do whoever we want whenever we want. And porn portrays this as a truth… some men just lose it and seek out their desire and pursue it. But think of the selfishness and evil that has to be in his heart.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I divorced my ex because he was so addicted to porn and cyber sex that it destroyed our marriage and put our children in harm’s way. He hid it so well when we were dating. Hell, he hid it while we were married. I didn’t discover his problem until I was two years in. I stuck by him for five more years believing he wanted to change. Believing I was the reason he was drawn to it. That I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, exciting enough…whatever. I finally had to let go and leave before I lost any more of myself, or his problem escalated to the point it endangered our girls. It was the most painful thing I’ve lived through.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Eclectic Contrarian June 17, 2019 — 6:43 pm

      I hate you and your children had to go through that.

      Porn is a destructive drug. I’ve been there and I still have problems because of it. I’m not going to lie. I haven’t looked at it willingly in several months. But it’s everywhere in some way. And guys I work with think nothing whipping it out on their phones and watching it. It warps a man’s mind and any woman that looks the least bit decent can become a feast for the eyes.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I agree. It creates unrealistic expectations.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The Eclectic Contrarian June 17, 2019 — 6:46 pm

        I hope my honesty doesn’t freak you out.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Not at all. I have a habit of being very open as well. I like being transparent. And I’d rather someone be honest about what they struggle with than lie and cover it up. That was my biggest problem in our marriage. Yes, his issues hurt me and made me insecure, but his lies destroyed the foundation of our relationship. He would cry and tell me I was hurting him because I wouldn’t trust him that he had stopped doing it. Then I would discover I was actually right and that he was lying the whole time. The mind games and the making me feel like I was a bad wife/person were what crushed me more than his actual struggle.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. The Eclectic Contrarian June 17, 2019 — 8:56 pm

        I’m sorry Heather! I don’t understand why most guys are dogs… but some women are also..

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I agree! I know some pretty awful women too!

        Liked by 1 person

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