It’s My Birthday!

It actually is my birthday!  The video posted above is my jam today.  It’s such a fun, upbeat song, and I love everything about the choreography!  It makes me happy when I listen to it.

I needed this song today.  I don’t know about you guys, but the past several years I have found I tend to wake up feeling depressed on my birthday.  Don’t get me wrong, some great things happen on my birthday.  My kids singing to me always makes me feel happy inside.  I get birthday wishes from friends and family.  My dad wakes me up every year with an early morning phone call, and he sings “Happy Birthday” like he’s at a rock concert.  It makes me laugh every time.

As I have gotten older, however, I’ve noticed emotions stirring inside me that make it harder to feel completely happy when my birthday rolls around. 

One thing I know really makes it difficult for me to enjoy my special day is the fact my mom puts very little effort into our relationship.  I’ve tried everything I know how to do to connect with her, but it’s as if she doesn’t want to. 

This morning she sent me a text message: “Happy Birthday.  I love you.”  I wrote back, “Thank you.  Can you call?” 

I had to ask my own mother to please call me on the anniversary of the day she gave birth to me…

She did eventually call and we awkwardly swapped pleasantries.  I’m not sure if it made my day better or worse, honestly.  Maybe it would’ve been better not to hear her struggling to find words to say to me.

I also find I have a lot of memories of birthdays from the past that I shared with people I am no longer close to or never hear from anymore.  Memories of time spent with my ex husband.  Friends I parted ways with because the relationship just wasn’t healthy.

I don’t regret moving on in life.  It’s important to have healthy relationships/friendships.  Yet, sometimes I just feel sad that things didn’t quite work out the way I hoped they would.

Life can be so hard sometimes, and it bums me out a bit that the really special days are sometimes the days when I remember the hard times the most.

However….

There is always a bright side!  Always a happy memory to hold onto.  A special moment to make the day a little better.

Today this fun, upbeat KPOP song made me smile and feel a little lighter inside.  I’ll listen to it a few more times as I hold on to the good memories from my birthday this year and let the sadder ones drift off into space.

8 thoughts on “It’s My Birthday!

  1. The Eclectic Contrarian July 3, 2019 — 7:06 pm

    Happy birthday!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Happy birthday lovely! 💗🎉🎂🎊 I can understand you so much. I sometimes cry with my birthday and feel sad. I also feel like you regarding losing friends. It’s okay to part ways but somehow it still hurt. I wish life would be always the same but people change and life changes. I hope that song cheered you up. It sounds really good and I also love the dancing! 😍 I wish you a happy birthday and I hope you can enjoy it on your own way. Always remember that we put so much pressure on special days and then end up dissapointed so I guess do something you like on your birthday. Don’t be so hard on yourself but I know how difficult it is. You are not alone. I’m sending you all my love ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! You are the sweetest! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and share my song with me! This made my birthday complete! Thanks so much!!! 💜💜💜💜

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Happy birthday! May this year be filled with good things…
    Love, light and glitter

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much! And thanks for taking the time to stop by! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy birthday !! 💜 I had the same reaction this year when I turned 21 and it felt very sad for me, birthdays are strange and bittersweet. I feel like they’re only happy until a certain age and then after that, reality and life kicks in and it’s just this bittersweet feeling you’re not quite sure what to do with. I hope you had a lovely day, you deserve it xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. And I agree. It really does seem as though they are bittersweet every year. I’m thankful for the good moments. Just wish I could shake the funky ones.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to The Eclectic Contrarian Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close